I have been quiet here for the last few months because I have been feeling a little lost and disconnected with the world around me. All not really helped by the fact that work has left me on furlough and they still has not told me if I have a job or not a month after my shielding was over.
I suspect it is because of the continuing real lack of real leadership shown by our government during this crisis which has certainly exasperated the situation making it more confusing and lengthy process for all involved. It really has help people like myself who have been ordered to stay home because of shielding something which has not been most pleasant experience because of not knowing what was going to happen in the future.
Plus not knowing has really knocked my depression and anxiety really at a time when I didn’t really need it as I am still going through the process of fighting a return of my tumour which is an ongoing process with over a year ago. The whole thing has put me what best called a holding pattern in my life and made me very lethargic on so many levels. A frustrating place to be as I would want to move forward away from what happened not end up feeling like my life is slipping away with nothing achieved.
Though recent months has not all been bad as once again I am focusing on restarting the role-playing group I have been trying to start over the last few years but on-line because of the COVID-19 crisis who i slowly bearing fruit in so much I now have started to run role-playing games regularly. It has gone a long way to give me a focus on something which is positive and constructive in a time when the world around us is negative and intent on destroying itself.
The running and preparation for the role-playing certainly keeps my mind and imagination active on things which allow it to grow rather than vegetate and get trapped on pointless things. It is certainly having a good effect as now I am thinking of the next games I want to run already which ideas of what to put in them.
So last few months have been a very mixed and difficult to really see a real future ahead other than same old issues all of our own making.